The Hardest Part

Actually carving out time to dedicate to writing is probably the hardest part of this whole endeavor for me. Making time means taking time away from something else I should be doing, or something I think I should be doing.

My first ever super short story that I wrote to post on here was nearly 3 years ago. That is a LONG time! And in the time that has passed between then and now, so much has happened. The one that remained consistent was me not prioritizing time to write and time to cultivate this space in any meaningful way.

I'd love to say that I have changed. I'd love to be able to tell you that I have cracked the code and figured out how to make time to write in my daily life in meaningful ways, but I don't know that I have. I certainly haven't managed in it in a consistent way.

But, I have been writing more frequently. I'm in a writers group, which I do prioritize in my life. I'm finding more ways to fit writing in, even in odd times. For example, I have been having some car trouble lately, and every time I find myself in the shop waiting for it to be repaired, I write. Whenever I find myself with a few minutes at lunch during my work day, I write. Finding creative ways to fit in even 5 minutes of writing has been interesting. It forces my brain to focus since I know only have a finite period of in which to write.

I also have discovered along the way that I am, for better or worse, a "seat of my pants" kind of writer. I can't write with any sort of outline or plan. It somehow kills the creativity in me. But without a plan, I am free to meander my way through finding out about the place, the characters and the situations they find themselves in, without the crushing limitations of an outline. I suppose if I was writing something as epic as, well anything Brandon Sanderson has written, a plan would be the only way for me to achieve such a feat. But, I am most definitely not at that point in my story life. So, for now, I'll keep discovering the story as I write it.

I've also given up on trying to be perfect, especially in this space, this website. I don't have an editor reading anything before I post it here. I don't have the luxury of being able to afford one of those either. You will find mistakes. I will find mistakes after I post something. I have decided that's okay. I am not perfect in reality, so why should this space be any different?

Letting go of the expectation of perfection from myself both here and in my writing in general has been a freeing experience as well. I'm not holding myself to any sort of standard other than: do I like/enjoy what I have written? If the answer is yes, then that's all I need. If the answer is no, then it's time to edit it or scrap it altogether and start fresh. Either way, perfection is no longer the goal and what a tremendous weight off my shoulders that has been!

It may be odd to say this, but reading other writers' works has helped me to release that need for perfection, in a strange way. I think I just realized that their first drafts were crap too. The story I'm getting to enjoy (or not, depending on what it is) went through so much and so many people to get it into the form that's in my hands. Why would I think that I'd be able to do the same thing, but on my very first try at a draft? I mean, that's why it's called a draft in the first place. It isn't meant to be perfect right out of the gate. Perhaps you think it's taken me too long to figure all this out, to grant myself grace, but I think I'm exactly where I need to be.

Not everything I post on this site will be a short story or creative writing in that way. Sometimes, the things I post will be like this - a look into my creative process or thoughts or book review, whatever. I am not sure that will be of interest to anyone who happens upon this page, but it will be of interest to me. To be able to look back on all that I have posted on here will be at the very least instructive for me.